On June 26th, 2011 I went into active labor. I remember before going to the hospital hugging and rubbing my belly knowing this will be one of the last times I will be able to do it. By the time we made it to the hospital I was already 2-3 minutes apart. We were blessed to have some amazing nurses. All three of my nurses were Christians and spoke Word into our lives. After pushing for maybe an hour we were able to hear the cry of Jeremiah Caeden Woolsey being born. God blessed us with 48, beautiful, minutes with him. During those few minutes he was able to meet his big brother and grandparents. We could have not asked for anything better! Malachi was so excited to meet his little brother. He kept saying, “baby, baby Jeremiah.” Malachi touched and kissed all over Jeremiah and let him know, “I luv you!” To this day Malachi every now and then asks about Jeremiah wanting to know where he is. Once he even asked if Jeremiah could go to the zoo with him. Even though Jeremiah had "defects" he was just perfect. Had had a head full of long dark drown hair. He had his daddy’s legs and his mommy’s claque. He was beautiful!! The birth of Jeremiah was bitter sweet. We were glad to finally meet our son, but at the same time we knew we were going to have to say good bye. Leaving the hospital and the weeks after were very difficult. I felt like I had a stamp on my forehead that said, “Mom of a lost child". This feeling has decreased since then, but does not make being in public any easier. When Jeremiah passed a part of my hert went with him. I have learned how to live on, but the sting is still there. There is not a day I don’t think of Jeremiah. I know the days ahead will be hard, ie Christmas, no “Babies First Christmas” ornament, no stocking, no baby Christmas bib or outfit. This has been the hardest thing I, we have ever had to do…. But I would do it all over again, just to have those 48 minutes back!! You always hear of things like this happening to others, but I never thought it would happen to me. I know I did everything to help my child, including falling on my knees. I don’t question God, I just trust! For those of you who don’t know the birth of Jeremiah was a miracle in itself. It was explained to us that Jeremiah should have been a miscarried pregnancy but he was not. He should have never made it to 30 weeks but he did. He should have never made it to full term but he did. He should have not even lived through the birthing process but he did. So even though Jeremiah passed away, he still was a miracle baby. For me there is no anger there is just Peace. I know where my child is and I know one day we will be reunited. I know there is a reason, and I will never be able to understand in full. What I do know is that God desires for other’s to hear The Jeremiah Story and that is what I am going to do. I am a mom of an angel and I praise God for my angel!
